Beleighve

Give When and Where You Can

For the last few years the Peck side of my family has done a gift exchange in lieu of purchasing individuals gifts for every family member. This year my father-in-law, Ty (or Granddad as the kids call him), suggested we nix the gifts and donate to help those less fortunate. Sounded great to us. We already have a few traditions that we do each year around the holidays.

First, we always make a donation to the Denver Rescue Mission for Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's a great organization that assists the homeless and provides a good meal for them on the holidays. They actually provide food year round, but the holidays are always a bigger meal. Second, we also make a donation to St.Jude's. Children going through chemo and fighting cancer really pulls my heart strings. Third, Miah and I always go to the local mall and pick a gift wish off the Christmas tree there. This year we bought shoes and socks for a 15 year old girl. Miah always enjoys wrapping the gift knowing how much it will mean to the recipient. She loves giving!

As far as the donation in lieu of the Peck family gift, we have not done that yet. Miah and I discussed it and we decided that since so many people give over the holidays it would be better to wait until January to do our donation. We plan to go to the store and purchase canned goods, toiletries and other items that have a long shelf life, and then bring them to the Sister Carmen Center near our home. I also have accumulated many hotel shampoos and lotions from my travels over the past year that we are going to donate. It was a great idea that someone passed along to me, and it was something I hadn't thought before, but was simple to do. I pass the idea on to you: next time you are traveling and staying at a hotel, take the toiletry items they leave for you. Then donate those items to a homeless shelter near you. If you are staying for several days be sure and take the ones they leave out before they clean the room! Normally they will leave more! There are many people who can use those small items much more than you!

The point here is that our economy continues to head toward a place of struggle for many people. And small gestures can make a big difference. They don't need to be monetary. Donating your time can be more rewarding than writing a check, and I can't think of any organization that would turn away a volunteer. Or you could personalize it more by making dinner for a struggling family. Or offer to baby-sit the single Mom's kids from down the street for no charge. Or give your blood - literally!!

There are so many things we can all do to make a positive impact on other people's lives and our community. I believe everyone feels a warm, fuzzy feeling when they are the reason for another person's smile, and I hope we all harness that fuzziness and use it when and where we can.

Here's to 2009!

A New Year. A New Era.

Welcome 2009. I resolve to make more time for the things that are important in life, such as: family, friends, community, making a difference (even in the smallest way) and love. Giving love and hoping to receive it. 2008 brought many changes my way, and I allowed myself to get caught up enough that I lost a bit of focus on a few important things, like this blog. But, in 2009 I hope to change that.

Right now, I can't believe it's been nearly 2 1/2 years since I last saw Leigh. In some respects it feels like 10 years, but in most it seems like yesterday. Time tends to fade away scars, both physical and mental, and also places things out of sight where, unfortunately, they also can fall out of mind. Don't get me wrong, not a day goes by that I do not think of Leigh in some way, but it's easier to continue moving through my day with those thoughts than it used to be, and I think sometimes NOT dealing with them is my way OF dealing with them. (All of a sudden I feel like maybe I'm laying on a couch and talking to someone who is scribing this into a journal for later reflection...)

The past couple months found Matt and I dealing with loss again. First, his Grandad (his Dad's Dad) passed away in the end of October, and then his Grandma Eaton (his Mom's Mom) passed away in the end of November. Basically a month apart. (I should also mention that Chris, Leigh's widower, lost his Grandmother, his Mom's Mom - Matt and Chris have different mothers - 2 weeks before Grandad, so he had three losses in about 6 weeks.) That was a difficult time mostly because we could not be there for Grandad's funeral, and only Matt could make it for Grandma's.

There were actually not a lot of tears shed. Both Grandad and Grandma lived long, fulfilling lives. They definitely experienced their hard times, as most of us do, and they lived through the Great Depression, World War II and Vietnam...events most of us (at least in my generation) only hear stories about. They both battled cancer, different types at different points in their life, but a battle they each won, none the less. We grieved for them by feeling pain for all those that survived them. They were both wonderful people. 

Grandad was quiet and reserved,and yet could be ornery too; something you'll find in most of his grandkids - 8 total and 6 of them boys!! Grandad and Grammie were known for their dancing, their travel, their tans, their pride in their three boys and the families they created, and their matching outfits! Oh, and who can forget the monkey bread!!! It was scrumpticious! They were quite the pair, and Grammie now survives with a little piece of her heart missing, but a full enjoyment of the years ahead of her to live. Her tears were full when they fell, and they are bound to fall again, but her life still has much meaning, and her family still has much love to give to her, and she still has much of the world to see! And Grandad? He survives in every child that has been born because of his life, and their love for cookies! Grammie once said that you could put tirds in the cookie jar and he'd eat them if he thought they were cookies! Matt is geting into my cookies right now, as I write this!

Grandma Eaton was a soft spoken, gentle woman who wanted nothing more than everyone around her to be happy. She was known for her generosity, her christianity, her red headed twins, and her wonderful cooking and baking! Mmmmm, how we miss her fudge! And we give Jenna props for taking over the tradition and having a great first turn around this past Christmas! Grandma spent several months in CO over the last few years, from about December to March, and was able to spend much quality time with her budding family. Zofia and Miah loved after school afternoons with Grandma and Nana. Three generations of wonderful woman spending time together cooking and crafting and laughing. The memories are plentiful and happy.

And now, every day passes Nana Janet and Auntie Jane (the red headed twins) by without the daily talk with Grandma Eaton. Mother and daughters do not have the bond that was then. Instead they have a new bond. The bond of memories and legends and history and ancestory. They have undoubtedly carried forward all the best qualities of Grandma Eaton, and thankfully, they are passing them along to the younger generation. Grandma Eaton will forever be alive in the generosity of her family.

I guess this post turned out to be more about the family lost recently, than the year ahead. Not what I believed my original intent to be, but it is what it is and there must be a reason all that came out. So, I leave with wishings of a Happy New Year, a healthy 2009, and much hope in the memories to be made throughout the year ahead.

Another Story

Earlier this week a friend of mine, or maybe she is more of an acquaintance (either way, someone I know), was on a local morning show, Colorado & Company, talking about the Angel Adventure Walk this weekend, and her own experience with having a brain tumor. Kudos to her for sharing!!! And, I'd like to share it with you.

I'd also like to share more stories if anyone would want to share them with me. Brain cancer, lung cancer, skin cancer, all cancer has a story. What's yours?

Getting Involved

Yesterday in the mail I received something from a cousin in New York. It was a letter sized envelope with our names hand written on it, and it made me go, "hmmmm." It's not often I receive snail mail from relatives, except maybe around my daughter's birthday. When I opened it up I found a letter that had the logo for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society TEAM in Training in the upper right hand corner. I immediately knew what the letter would say (for the most part) without reading it.

I must say it made me really happy to know someone else was getting involved in the fight against cancer, any cancer. So many of us have the ability to get more involved in volunteering, or fund raising, or donating, and yet so many people don't. I know we all have busy lives, and we often feel like we are stretched too thin, but imagine what a life changing event being diagnosed with cancer would be. Imagine what would have to change in your life if you were all of sudden either a patient or a caretaker of someone with cancer. It really changes your perspective on life and life's priorities.

Eventually everyone encounters cancer. I've encountered it many times over, as I'm sure many of you have to, but it took a very serious case and being put in a first hand caretaker/supporter role to really see the big picture. And, I do find it hard to keep that picture clear over the years. It's too easy to fall back into old habits, and busy lives, but I am trying my best to make time for doing my best at making a difference. I challenge each of you to do the same. If everyone did just a little the result would be a whole lot!

If you feel so inspired as to want to donate to my cousin's cause click here. Or, if you'd like to donate to mine click here.

 

Angel Walk Again!

For the second year I will be taking part in Denver's Angel Adventure Walk benefiting the National Brain Tumor Foundation. This year I am pairing up with a friend who lost her Mother to brain cancer and we will be walking with the team name We Believe in Angels. Check out our fund raising page to learn a bit more about our story, and to help support our cause!

Last year this walk was a great bonding experience. I walked with family and we talked and talked. It was quite therapeutic. This year those family members have other obligations and won't be able to make it, but my daughter will be coming along! She had a very special relationship with Aunt Leigh. I think it will be a good time to have some Mother-Daughter bonding. After all, she is going to be a big 5th grader next year!

I'm looking forward to another walk, another talk, and another successful fund raising effort. Thanks to all who have supported this cause, and I hope you will continue to do so.

Memorial Day Memories

This year Memorial Day came and went pretty quickly. It was cool and rainy, and I had just arrived back in Colorado from a quick weekend trip to NY, so I was tired. But, Memorial Day in general, reminds me of Leigh.

Two years ago Memorial Day weekend I was in IL. I had flown out for two reasons. The first was Leigh, and the second was Grandma Eaton. Leigh was had been starting to show signs of memory loss and physical weakness at an alarming rate, and Grandma Eaton had fallen and broken her hip. Before I actually arrived in IL I had the fear that I would not leave without attending a funeral first. That never happened, and looking back I think I was so fragile from everything that was happening that I actually became pessimistic. That's not normal for me. Expecting a bad outcome. Usually I'm pretty confident things will be just fine.

Granted, Leigh had been headed down the road she was on for awhile, and we were all aware where the end of that road would be, but at this point it seemed like the speed had picked up in her travels. Looking back I think that we were a bit too conscious of every detail. I find it interesting how fear can influence a person's perspective. With Leigh, we were all so scared of what each day brought that we were hyper-sensitive to every minor detail.

On this particular trip, I was driving us to get some movies to watch and we were futzing (that is a Leigh word) around with the radio trying to find a decent station when a Justin Timberlake song came on. It stayed on for a few seconds because I was turning at a light and had to stop playing with the radio while I drove, and in those few seconds Leigh looked at me and said, "You dork!" And I looked back and said, "What?" Her response, "You actually know the words to this song, AND you are singing along!?!" I sat there for a second while I realized that she actually thought she heard me singing, which I was not, and I didn't know the words to the song. I called her out on that because that was how we were, and we laughed about it, but there was a part of me that thought, "oh no, what does this mean? Now she's hearing things."

I wish I could have turned off my brain, and not over-analyzed every little thing, but I think some of that is just human nature. So, on Memorial Day I think about Leigh, and how if I could give one piece of advice to anyone who is on the outside watching someone he/she loves with cancer - any kind of cancer - it would be: just be. Don't analyze what is, or what appears to be, just be. Not everything has as much meaning as we like to give it, and vice versa. We just need to be. Be supportive. Be loving. Be understanding. Be happy. Be ourselves, and just be.

No Excuses

I would love to list off all the things that kept me from posting here regularly, but...no excuses.

Instead, an announcement: The Angel Walk of 2008. Remember this last year? Once again, I am participating in the walk to raise funds for the National Brain Tumor Foundation. This year I've teamed up with a friend who lost her Mother to brain cancer in 1999. You can read our story, and even pledge to our cause if you'd like, here.

In the past several months that I have been absent from this blog much has changed in my life, but nothing has changed my goal to assist the changes being made in research and support towards those affected by cancer. Whether it's brain cancer, breast cancer, lung cancer or [insert anything] cancer, we can do more to support these changes and efforts. One way is to support the Angel Walk!

I don't think I know anyone who has not been touched by cancer one way or another, even though I think I might be envious of the oblivion that comes with non-exposure. At that same time, I would not trade the life experience that cancer has guided me through. Both emotionally, and mentally. It's quite the conundrum. I don't wish cancer on anyone, and yet, when someone is sharing their cancer story with me I also feel like, "they get it." I don't think you can "get it" without being touched by cancer.

So, to all those living with cancer (patients), living by someone with cancer (family, friends and caregivers), living because of someone with cancer (children), and everyone who just wants to make a change, please know you have the respect and support of millions, including little ol' me!

Visiting Leigh

Our trip to Chicago last weekend was a good one. We got to spend time with family, visit Six Flags Great America (where we all rode all the BIG roller coasters and had a blast), take a limo out in downtown Chicago, eat at the best seafood restaurant ever (Bob Chin's), and we got to go to the Moselium and visit Leigh.

I think this picture says a thousand words...

Kris Carr - Married, Husband, Cancer, Survivor

Wow. Kris Carr is definitely generating a lot of Internet traffic, and the fact that I've written about her here is bringing some of that traffic my way. The above items are some of the things people have been searching, and that have led them here.

So, quickly, what can I tell you about Kris Carr? Well, I met her in Denver at her book signing back in September. She was infectious with her spirit. She was inspiring with her attitude, and she was humbled by the affect she is currently having on the world.

I spoke with her for all of 5 minutes total. A little bit during my time getting her all important John Hancock, and a little after the event by waiting around for the hopes of getting a picture with her. You can scroll down to September 8, 2007 to see them, and read more about that night.

What I know most is that her mark on the world is just starting, and it is definitely worth your while to check out her blog, and her website, and her movie on TLC tonight!!!! AND, don't forget to buy her book. It's more than a tool for dealing with cancer. It can help you deal with life.

A Few Updates

We are getting ready to head to Chicago this week. It will be the first visit back with no Leigh. Well, technically the second, if we include the Memorial Service, but even that was all about Leigh. This is about visiting the family. We are all looking forward to the visit, but I also know there will probably be some tough moments in the realization that Leigh is not here to make memories with anymore. But, we live, we grow, and we remember...fondly.

Also, TLC listened to all of those who wanted another viewing of Crazy, Sexy, Cancer! It is going to air on TLC this Wednesday evening (October 24th) at 6pm Central Time. And, even more, Kris Karr is going to be on Oprah today! It's a show about Death and Dying, so I am expecting some heavy discussions, but I know Kris will bring some uplifting things to the show. She talks about here experience on her blog, and you can read that here.

Last, I wanted to share something my daughter wrote for school. Her first writing assessment was last month, and she was told to choose a topic and write about it. This is what she wrote, just as she wrote it:

Cancer

My aunt Liegh has
suffered a serious
deseas for 5 years.
She has suffered
Cancer. And when I
found out I was only
6, so I didn't know the
condition that it put
her in. About 8 months
later she started too
loose her hair. I
had know idea what
was going on.
By the time I understood
what my aunt was, going
threw she was not able
to get out of Bed. The med-
icine and cancer made
her big. And on august, 26, 06
my aunt Liegh past
away. Aunt Liegh I will
keep your memory
alive forever I promise.
I miss you already.

Nough said.